okelay

It's  6am and I am awake. I haven't slept. It's been too damn hot. I watched Gossip Girl and browsed Instructables.

I look out my window and everything's so quiet and so bright. Not a human on the streets, only the birds are awake and the colours are so different at this hour. even the air smells different.

And I really miss that I don't have a garden anymore. before, when I couldn't sleep, I'd go into the kitchen for a glass of water or milk or something and I'd stop in the living room and look out. if it was a nice night, I'd go out, look at the stars.

when I was up early for some reason I loved going out and smelling the dew or laying in the grass, not caring it was wet, relishing in it.

Since I am lazy and a heavy sleeper I didn't do it often which made everytime more special. now I can't do it. the best I can do is look out at the window. I can put on some clothes and go outside,to the park or to the river but it's not quite the same.

strangely, in the stillnes of a sleeping city all I can see is life. it looks bright and awake and energized and looking forward to a new day which is so rare, really.

It's a strange feeling, being up so damn early.
but it is a wonderful one.
at least in the summer it is. well,almost summer.
it always reminds me of being a kid, of scout camps and slumber parties, where we fought to stay awake all night and it was so hard.

it makes me feel kinda happy. at least appreciative.